


For Sara, Whenever I May Find Her

by Dragongoddess13



Series: Memory Brushes the Same Years, Silently Sharing The Same Fears [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Sequel, rekindled summer fling, reunited after years apart, teenage romance rekindled
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 08:05:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18339551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragongoddess13/pseuds/Dragongoddess13
Summary: It’s been 15 years since that fateful night outside of Carlsbad. The night Leonard Snart, broken, battered and desperate to get home, met Sara Lance, confused, scarred and desperate to get away from home. That night started a series of events that would lead both of them on the path to healing. A trip across country, a two day friendship. Both of them came away with a sense of being that has stayed with them in the years that followed15 years later Sara returns to Star City for her father’s funeral and discovers mementos of a man she had forgotten but never stopped feeling. With the guilt of wasted time in her heart and a career she’s more or less married to, Sara returns to Central City and tracks down Leonard.Together again, they navigate the years lost between them, both unconsciously desperate for the feelings they’d invoked all those years ago. Feelings that brought joy in the darkest hours, that healed their wounds and guided them out into the world more prepared to face it than ever before.Direct Sequel to Let Us Be Lovers(We'll Marry Our Fortunes Together)





	1. What A Dream I Had

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who supported the last story! It meant so much to know that you all liked it so much. 
> 
> This story's title is also based on a Simon and Garfunkel song called _For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her_

For Sara, Whenever I May Find Her

Part I: What A Dream I Had

Part I

xXx

Star City hasn’t been the shining beacon on the hill since long before Sara was born. Growing up she got so used to it, she didn’t really think about all the problems. But coming back to it after each long absence the rot and decay is more obvious than she remembers.

She’s been gone for six months this time, trekking the icy slopes of the arctic with her crew in the hunt for the most visceral proof of the devastation of climate change. She thinks she’s found it, but she won’t know for sure until she finds an editing company to go through the footage with her and piece it all together. Her usual team was tapped by a major studio for a big blockbuster movie, so she’ll have to break in someone else. A fact that concerns her. Coming off not one but three documentaries that have netted her Oscars, Golden Globes and Baftas, she’s under a lot of pressure to keep the train rolling down the tracks.

But all of that will have to wait, because she hasn’t come back to Star City simply because she’s finished filming.

Her sister called her on the satellite phone two days before. It was probably longer, she hates thinking about time differences. Her father wasn’t doing well. He’d had a bad heart all his life, and his high stress job didn’t help matters. They had begged him to take it easy, but the city he loved, the city he raised his daughters in was falling apart and he was desperate to keep it together. Sara thinks there may be a metaphor in there somewhere. He couldn’t keep their relationship together, so he fights to keep the city where it all fell apart together.

When she had come home from her summer road trip she had decided on a new career path, and like a fool she came home with the idea that Quentin Lance had ever had the intention of honoring their deal. He wanted his daughter to be a doctor, he’d be damned if she gave all that up for the uncertain lifestyle of a film student. She couldn’t explain to him why she wanted to do this, in the same way she couldn’t explain why she wanted to take a year off and travel the country. So, they argued instead. Things were said and Sara stormed out, climbing back into her car and driving away.

Her mother and sister managed to coax her back to the house, but the damage was done and neither were willing to budge. Within a few weeks she was completely moved out of her parent’s house, moving into a dorm on campus. She still had all of her scholarships so changing her major wasn’t a big deal. She made new friends and worked part time to afford her half of the rent for an apartment in the summer. She went home for the holidays but it was always tense and eventually Sara realized she was just ruining the mood for everyone by trying to share space with her father. So she stopped going.

Five years later she graduated top of her class, ready to meet the world. Her career didn’t start on a high note, more like a middle note. She got a job as a camera operator for a crew of a major science network. She picked up a lot of skills there, met a lot of amazing people, saw so many wonderful places, but a few years later she knew it was time to strike out on her own.

She wanted to make documentaries. The bug had bitten her in school second year. She wanted people to see the world the way she saw it, the beauty, the majesty. But in her last job she discovered that that beauty was in danger and the focus of her movies shifted significantly.

Her first documentary wasn’t a flop, but it also didn’t get the recognition she was hoping for. Her producer, her childhood friend, Tommy Merlyn, who was looking for an escape from his own father’s expectations for him, believed in her whole heartedly though. So when she came to him with another idea he didn’t hesitate to back her again. He would never regret that decision.

 _“Where The Wild Things Were”_ debuted at a film festival in New York and by the end of the year it was in hundreds of theaters around the country as a special few nights only showing. She was a household name. Award season rolled around and Tommy was the one to tell her she had been nominated for a Golden Globe. She didn’t actually think she would win. She’d seen the other films, directed by filmmakers with twice her experience and name recognition but she did. When she was nominated for a Bafta, again, she didn’t think much of it, but again her name was called. By the time she was nominated for an Oscar she let hope trickle in. Three awards in one season. Sara was hooked.  

Her next film was just as successful, though she only won one out of three, and the one after that netted her two. It seemed her success was just what her father needed to admit he had been wrong, and after years of separation they finally began the process of mending their relationship.

That had been two years ago. Now as she stands in the doorway of his home, the home she grew up in, dressed in black and looking for all the world like she would rather be anywhere else, Sara laments the lost time. He was gone, she didn’t even get to say goodbye, stuck on a boat in a sea of ice when she should have been by his side. She’d give anything in that moment for one more minute, just one minute to tell him she loved him and to remind him that she didn’t think he was a bad father for wanting what he thought was the best for her.

She felt tears slip down her cheeks, taking deep breaths in an effort to control herself. Mourners would be here in a few hours and the house needs to be tidied up while her mother and sister pick up food trays for the guests. Sara cleans up as best she can. In the last week her father had been hospitalized there wasn’t much time for anything else. She dusts and picks up stray objects, spending nearly twenty minutes trying not to cry over his shoes by the door, or his uniform hanging in the closet.

By the time she finishes, starting a pot of coffee, her mother and sister are back, Tommy and Oliver carrying everything in for them.

“Nice to see six months in the middle of nowhere hasn’t turned you into a slob, Sara.” Laurel teases, poking her in the side. Sara jumps away and tries to poke her back.

“Wow, that was so funny I forgot to laugh, Laur.” she replies.

“How was the trip dear?” her mother asks, obsessively moving the trays around the kitchen counter.

Sara shrugs. “Cold.” she tells them. She doesn’t particularly want to talk about her work right now, not when there’s so many more important things to talk about, but she understands that her career is the only thing that isn’t connected to any of them with fond memories and so it stands to reason it’s the least painful topic of conversation at the moment. “Lots of penguins.” she continues.

“Did they come right up to you?” Laurel asks. Sara nods.

“I saw some of the footage you brought back.” Tommy tells her. “It all looks good. I think once you find a new editor you’ll have another award winner on your hands.”

Sara nods. “Got a few smaller companies vying for the contract, I just have to pick one.”

“Anyone you’re leaning toward?” Oliver asks.

“Well, there’s one in Central that almost exclusively works with documentary films and television programs. Then there’s another in Gotham that has a pretty decent reputation.”

“You should chose the one in Central?” Laurel tells her grinning almost maniacally.

“Why?” Sara asks confused. As far as she knows Laurel knows nothing about any of these companies, unless Tommy’s told her something.

“Can you just imagine, walking into a coffee shop one morning and across the room, there he is, your damsel in distress.” Laurel begins and Sara rolls her eyes, finally catching on. “Your eyes meet over the crowd and it’s like no time has passed.”

“Oh my god. Have you always been this cheesy?” Sara asks, wiping the star struck look off Laurel’s face. Oliver and Tommy laugh, and their mother, who was never all that thrilled with the idea of her youngest daughter giving a ride to a strange boy looks more amused than she has in days.

“It’s not cheesy, it’s sweet.” Laurel defends. Sara just shakes her head, grateful for the distraction that comes when people start arriving.

xXx

Sara’s parents separated in her third year of college. It didn’t last long, they were back together within a year, but they both decided the break was necessary. They had been together since they were seventeen years old, and with both of their children out of the house, they realized for the first time in years that they didn’t know each other anymore.

When they separated, the house sort of shifted, or at least the contents did. Her mother had gone to Los Angeles to teach a limited class on criminal law at UCLA and she didn’t take anything with her that was too valuable. She’d be back soon enough so there was no need to pack up her grandmother’s Tiffany lamp or her mother’s favorite set of antique books. While she was gone, however, her father got it in his head to move things around, this included packing up his daughters’ rooms and storing anything that wouldn’t be missed right away. Her mother hadn’t said much about it when she got back, and since it was all stuff neither Laurel nor Sara would miss they put it out of mind. Now, however, Sara couldn’t stop thinking about it.

It’s one o’clock in the morning, her mother and sister are asleep, she’s pretty sure Tommy is in her sister’s room, and the house is silent save for the occasional car passing by outside.

The attic is dark, and she flips on the light at the bottom of the stairs before making her way up the rickety wooden risers. Her dad had always been organized so the boxes with her things in them are neatly stacked together. She stands in front of them for nearly five minutes, not thinking, not even questioning what she’s doing this for. Just standing there, blankly, like she’s too exhausted to move but too tired to pass out.

Eventually she pulls a box from the top of the stack and starts rifling through it. It’s just old baby clothes, so she sets it aside and grabs another. She questions her parents sanity when the next two boxes are also baby clothes. She supposes it could be worse, they could have kept all of her baby teeth. The fourth box is full of old report cards and school projects and the one after that is similar. It’s not until she gets down to the last three that she finds the things he took from her room.

Sara considers that this may have been a bad idea when she opens one to find all of her trophies and awards. Things that she had won on her path to becoming a doctor. He’s boxed them up so carefully, wrapping them in cloth and bubble wrap. They meant the world to him, more than they did to her after that summer. She thinks maybe she’s not quite over the feelings of despair that had darkened her optimism every time she thought about how disappointed he must be in her. The idea that she was no longer the daughter he wanted had haunted her for years, driving her to work harder, to prove to, not only him, but herself that this was all worth it, that she hadn’t made a mistake.

She’s fighting a losing battle with her emotions as she clutches a plaque to her chest, stifling a sob. As she sits there, shaking in her grief, she realizes this wasn’t such a good idea, but she’s here now and for better or worse, she can’t stop. Somethings drawn her up here, she doesn’t know what, but it must be important for her to tear open old scars like this.

She barely gets control of herself and carefully repacks the box, taking the same care she can imagine him taking all those years ago. She pushes it aside, more than happy to never see it again, and pulls over the second box. The contents stop her short.

She vaguely remembers filling this box, postcards and souvenirs, tourist brochures and stacks of photographs. Everything packed up from her trip cross country. She’d put everything in this box to keep it together and then subsequently forgot about it when she stopped coming home for holidays. She begins flipping through it, taking out various things and looking them over. There are so many pictures she can’t even begin to look through them all right this moment, but she endeavors to do it later. Pictures of landmarks and people, from the forests of the Pacific Northwest, to the shores of the eastern seaboard.

As she reaches the bottom she pulls out a film canister. She thought she had had all of them developed but it looks like she may have missed one. She’s curious to say the least. At the time she remembered roughly every picture she took, she can’t imagine what she forgot.

A yawn catches her by surprise, the day finally catching up with her. So, she replaces the box of awards on the pile reverently and packs up the other two, bringing them back downstairs with her. She’ll develop the pictures and open the last box eventually, but for now it’s time to finally get some rest.

xXx

“Did you decide on a editor yet?” Tommy asks her, leaning against a table out of her way. The glow of the red light bulb is harsh to his eyes, which is why he rarely ever goes into her developing room. They, however, have a lot of business to take care of despite everything else going on.

“No, but I’m leaning more toward Central. I like that they specialize in documentaries.” she explains, eyes focusing on the paper she passes back and forth between chemical baths.

“Good. As much as I hate to tell you this with everything you’ve got going on, you’re going to have to get on that if you want to meet the film festival deadline.” he tells her.

“I know. I’ll have it figured out by the end of the day.”

Sara lays the paper into a final bath and lets it soak before carefully sloshing the chemicals until an image begins to develop. She pulls it out with tongs and pins it to a clothes line stretching across the opposite wall.

“Huh.” Tommy replies, suddenly right behind her. “Your damsel in distress is very photogenic.”

“You guys have got to stop calling him that.” Sara says simply.

“Well, you wouldn’t tell anyone his name, what else are we supposed to call him?”

Sara sighs and looks over her shoulder at him. “I never should have said anything.”

Tommy grins. “But you did, and now you can’t take it back, so how about a name to go with that handsome mug?”

She rolls her eyes and endeavors to ignore him, studying the photograph she’s forgotten taking. To anyone who wasn’t there, it looks like they’d staged the photo, he was casually laid out in the grass, his eyes smouldering, a little smirk tilting his lips and his arm up in front of him, showing off his muscular forearm in his half pushed up sleeve. It wasn’t like that at all though. That first night they had camped to save money on a hotel, and in the morning as they were packing up to leave, Leonard had slipped in the dew slick grass. Sara hadn’t laughed that hard in awhile and while he was down she grabbed her camera, much to his chagrin. He was actually glaring at her in the photo and his arm coming up was his attempt to cover his face before she could snap the picture. He’d vowed to get her back and he did. The next morning in his apartment as she crouched over her bags, packing everything up he managed to get a hold of her camera and snap a picture of her. She looked like she was posing too, but the half lidded look was really her squinting at him in annoyance. That photo was on this roll too, as well as a few tragically miss framed selfies of them together and one that actually didn’t look so bad.

She wishes she had remembered that one ahead of time, because as she pulls it out of the chemical bath, the image developing, she hears Tommy choke behind her.

“Holy shit, Sara. You never mentioned this.” he sounds all too amused and she turns on him.

“You can’t tell Laurel, or anyone else for that matter.” she demands.

Tommy throws up his hands playacting. “Why would I tell Laurel?”

“Because you tell Laurel everything.”

“I do not.”

“Yes, you do. You’ve been in love with her since grade school, and now that you two are actually getting somewhere…”

“Who says we’re ‘getting somewhere’?” Tommy interrupts, his voice going up an octave. Sara rolls her eyes again.

“I know you were in her room last night, Tommy.” before he can argue she continues. “Laurel doesn’t snore.”

Tommy clears his throat. “You’ve certainly got a knack for changing the subject.” he sighs. “Your secret is safe with me. I don’t know why you’re ashamed of it though.”

“I’m not ashamed.” she tells him. “It’s just private.” She explains, turning back to study the photo.

xXx

_“What are you doing?” Sara mutters sleepily, stretching the warm ache from her muscles. She hums, turning onto her side, watching as Leonard strolls up to the bed lazily. He’s put his sweatpants back on, which she’s not happy about, but he’s left his shirt off, so it’s not a total loss. She notices her camera in his hand by his side, the neck strap dangling below it. “What are you doing with my camera?” she asks as he slides in beside her again._

_“I thought we’d try this again.” he tells her, adjusting the lens and pulling her into his side._

_Sara laughs. “You know those pictures I took in the car probably aren’t going to turn out well, right?”_

_“All the more reason to try again.” he says, holding the camera out as far as he can. Sara continues to laugh, curling into his side and laying her head on his chest. He snaps a picture. “A little something to remember all of this.” he continues bringing the camera back down._

_“Trust me Len, I’m not going to forget this.” She assures him, taking the camera and setting it on the nightstand behind her.  When she turns back to him he’s smirking at her. She rolls her eyes. “The whole trip, not just last night.”_

_Sara settles down against him again, humming softly as she feels his fingers play with the ends of her hair. His heart beat is steady against her ear, lulling her into a twilight-esc sleep._

_“Thank you.” his voice rumbles softly through his chest. “For everything you’ve done for me.”_

_“I was happy to help.” she mumbles sleepily. “Besides,” she continues. “You helped me too.”_

_“How’s that?” he asks even as he feels her breathing start to slow. Her reply is a jumble of noises more than intelligible words and Leonard chuckles. “Go back to sleep, little bird, we’ve still got a few hours.”_


	2. I Wandered Empty Streets

For Sara, Whenever I May Find Her

Part 2: I Wandered Empty Streets

xXx

The Firehouse garage is busy that Saturday morning. Mick runs a tight crew but there’s only so much they can do when everyone decides to show up all at once. Leonard finds himself elbow deep in grease and oil all morning and into the late afternoon, stopping only long enough to grab a quick bite to eat. By six, the last of the customers are pulling out, grateful and well taken care of. 

“That the last of them?” Jax questions as he cleans his tools, watching an older man pull out of the parking lot. 

“Yep.” Mick replies simply. “Everyone get cleaned up, I ordered food.” 

Leonard sighs, tidying up his rolling tool box and locking it up, before heading for the locker rooms in the back. 

Grabbing a towel out of his locker, he makes his way into a stall and strips, stepping under the warm spray. He lets the water wash away the grim of a hard worked Saturday, soothing the aches. His body is officially ready to stop for the day, but like always, his mind keeps turning. He has Sunday off and there is a list of things he needs to take care of. Repairs around the house, errands for his elderly neighbor, details to finalize on a few of his most recent patent applications, and of course, finally getting around to signing the documents from his financial advisor. 

Six years later and that still sounds weird to him. That he, Leonard Snart, son of a crooked cop, struggling to survive for most of his life, now has a financial advisor. He has Lisa and Mick to thank for it though. He’s tinkered on and off since he was a little kid, making things that could be useful to people. The first gadget he made wasn’t anything particularly special, just a little reach extender for his mother while she was stuck in bed, too weak from the chemo to do much more than lay there. 

A few years ago, that same device, which he still has lying around the house, had netted some other inventor millions. It was at that point that Mick and Lisa had started bugging him about patenting some of his designs and eventually they wore him down. It turned out to be the best decision he’s ever made. 

For the first time in his life, he wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck. He didn’t have to work multiple jobs or ration anything to make it last as long as possible. He didn’t have to worry about making rent or keeping the utilities on. He wasn’t a millionaire by any stretch of the imagination, but with the revenue that came in from the sales of the manufacturing and use of his patented designs he could probably sit at home and tinker for the rest of his life and not have to worry about anything. 

Sitting around really isn’t something he enjoys though. He likes keeping busy. He took time off to enjoy the fact that he could afford to now, but it wasn’t long before he was back to work at Mick’s shop. He had had to find an accountant to help with the money he was not used to having and she advised him to find a financial advisor to help him through the process of investing and saving. The advisor had suggested finding something to invest his money in, something that, in the event his patents stopped being valuable, he would still have revenue coming in while he figured out what to do. 

Leonard had struggled with finding something of that nature. He didn’t particularly trust the stock market and he wasn’t keen on the idea of buying property that would sit and collect value for absolutely no reason. And then he realized he’d had the perfect investment right in front of him the entire time. 

Mick’s repair shop (still called Dick’s, from when his father owned it) was very successful. He’d gotten a reputation around the city as honest and fair, so most people who couldn’t afford to go to the dealership or who didn’t want to be swindled by some fast talking mechanic went to him. The more business he got the more he thought about expanding his services, but he neither had the space or, despite the good business, the capital to do so. Now he did. 

He’d fought Leonard on it at first, but Leonard was very persuasive and before they knew it, Dick’s Auto Body was now The Firehouse Garage, rebuilt inside an abandoned Firehouse. The property was big enough for a car lot, and they added services like full body repair, custom paint, and occasionally they would buy old cars and refurbish them to sell either for profit or charity. He was also able to hire a significant number of mechanics to the payroll, doubling the staff from three to six at first and adding more in the ensuing years. 

It was a success and Leonard found himself, for the first time in his life, thinking about the path he assumed his life would take. It was a painful thought, but he pushed it down and kept moving forward determined to remain comfortable for as long as he could. 

Leonard sighs as he turns off the water and steps out to grab his towel. He dries and wraps the towel around his waist before scooping up his coveralls and heading toward his locker. He dumps the dirty coveralls in the hamper for whoever draws the short straw that week, and then quickly dresses. 

The break room is on the second floor and everyone is already there, gorging themselves on slices of pizza and beer. Mick hands him a bottle as he walks in and he waits for everyone to settle before grabbing a piece for himself. 

Conversation amongst the crew and office staff is comfortable and familiar. Their a strange patchwork sort of family that Leonard would be hard pressed to lose. With Lisa away at school in Gotham, and realizing rather quickly that she didn’t really need him anymore, he was a little lost. He’d dedicated his life to taking care of her and making sure she had everything she needed that when she was gone he floundered. He wasn’t used to not living to keep someone else going. He never worried about himself, never took care of himself beyond the basics. He was basically forced to remember himself for a change and he wasn’t sure he liked it. 

But then these guys wheedled their way in. Their crew, their family, had started small, but now they were many, filling the space of the office with laughter. It was enough to remind him that he was never really alone. 

Leonard begs off an hour later, countering everyone’s protests with a promise to go out with them in a few nights. He’ll leave early from that too, but he’ll show up at least. Leonard loves his family, but he’s never been a social creature even before he started taking care of Lisa.

Leonard’s home is in the old neighborhood, among the people who watched out for Lisa and himself as best they could. He hadn't really needed to move, but he liked the space to spread out while he was working. The house was small, the perfect size for one person and his regular guest. The yard is nice, he has a patio out there where he keeps a grill and a patio set. He has everything he needs here and maybe a little that he doesn’t, but he’s worked hard his whole life, so he thinks he’s earned this. 

The house is quiet when he steps in and flips on the living room light. With a sigh of the truly exhausted, he collapses on the sofa, laying his head against the back and closing his eyes. He could go to bed early, it’s nearly nine, but if he does that he’ll be up way too early in the morning. So, he opens his eyes and reaches for the television remote, turning it on and starting up the DVD player. 

The movie left in the player is one he’s seen at least a thousand times, but he loves it no less. “Where The Wild Things Were.” He loves all of Sara’s movies, but this one is his favorite. There’s just something about the way she tells the story that reminds him of that lost young woman, desperate for answers fifteen summers ago. 

He can see her brilliant smile and the hope shining in her blue eyes. He can still smell the air as it blew through the truck cab, sending her hair flying around her. He can hear the animals out in the forest, singing to the night sky above their tent. He can hear her soft breathing as she lies curled against him; as he prays for the night to last so he can keep her right there against him for a little longer.

Leonard smiles to himself, as he always does, when her name flashes in the opening credits. Directed by Sara Lance. He still remembers the first time he saw it. He’d been on a date, the first in what felt like forever. She’d wanted to go to the special showing and Leonard had agreed not even knowing what was going on. He’d been so busy with work and his designs he hadn’t been following the entertainment news, not that he ever really did before. His date had explained everything before it started but she’d never mentioned the director, so seeing Sara’s name up on the big screen was a shock to say the least. 

Mick would tell him later, when his date turned him down for a second one, that gushing about your summer fling all night probably wasn’t the best idea. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he had in fact talked about Sara and their road trip all night after the movie. He just hadn’t been able to help himself. She’d been so lost that summer and to see her flourishing after everything she’d done for him, it was nice. He’d told Mick as much, but he didn’t look convinced. 

Mick had been less than opinionated about the entire situation. Even walking in on them the next morning he’d simply gone through the day with a little smirk. But after that movie had come out and Leonard had started looking into her, Mick suddenly found his voice. He’d teased Leonard relentlessly, trying and succeeding to get under his skin. He poked and prodded, working toward an outcome that Leonard could only guess at. Honestly, he couldn’t imagine that he wanted Leonard to seek her out, not after fifteen years, but that seemed to be exactly what he was angling for. Not many people knew this about Mick Rory, but he was, in fact, a hopeless romantic and the idea that one summer in Leonard’s most desperate hour, a beautiful young woman selflessly came to his rescue was a plot right out of these books he secretly wrote and refused to publish. 

Now, Mick seemed to want them to rekindle that fleeting romance they had shared and while secretly Leonard wouldn’t be opposed to that, it just wasn’t likely to happen, ever. 

When the movie ends, Leonard switches off the television and goes to bed. He dreams of her.

xXx

_ Leonard stops short in the living room, surprised to find his closest friend standing in his kitchen, picking at the leftover pizza. “I didn’t hear you come in.” he tells him, watching the older man watch him back with amusement.  _

_ “Clearly.” Mick replies, looking him up and down. It’s no secret to anyone that Leonard is self conscious about his scars. He knows logically that no one would judge him. It was the looks of pity though, that he wants to avoid. The fact that even now, Leonard isn’t attempting to cover up is strange.  _

_ “Hey Len, have you seen my…”      _

_ Sara stops short behind him and he can’t see her, but given the way he left her, he can only imagine what she looks like right now. “Mick, Sara, Sara, Mick.” Leonard introduces them, using the opportunity to turn and look back at her. She’s wearing one of his sweaters, the air conditioning still up a little high to compensate for being off for so long. She tugs at the hem self consciously, smiling awkwardly at Mick.  _

_ “It’s nice to finally meet you. Len’s told me so much about you.” Sara replies.  _

_ Mick’s amusement hasn’t wavered. “I’m sorry, I can’t say the same.”  _

_ Leonard looks back at Sara and they share a look. Sara flounders for a moment before; “You know what, I’m going to hop in the shower and get ready.” she says all of this, backing toward the hallway again. After an awkward moment she turns and ducks into the bathroom.  _

_ Leonard turns to mick when she’s gone and he must look disappointed because Mick apologizes for interrupting.  _

_ “No, it’s alright. She’s got to get going soon anyway.” he tells him. He doesn’t move to grab a shirt as he makes his way over, a fact that Mick doesn’t miss. _

_ “So, you’re out of town for three months and still manage to find a fling? Impressive, but, uh, since when do you ever bring them here?”  _

_ Leonard grabs a glass out of the cabinet and fills it with water from the tap. “She’s not a fling. It’s not like that.” he tells him.  _

_ “Then what’s it like?” _

_ Leonard sighs.  _

_ “She gave me a ride home after my car broke down.” he explains.  _

_ “So this is a thank you then.”  _

_ “No, it’s… it’s complicated.” Leonard shakes his head and finishes his water, leaving the glass in the sink.  _

_ “As complicated as a total stranger driving you across the country? What did you promise her? Did you have to pay her?” Mick asks.  _

_ “No, she… she just did it because she thought it was the right thing to do.” Leonard was keeping his voice down. They could hear the shower running, but they didn’t want to take the chance that she would over hear them.  _

_ Mick looks skeptical, but Leonard is serious. “Huh, go figure.”  _

_ Leonard merely shrugs, sticking his hands in his pockets.     _


	3. I Kissed Your Honey Hair With My Grateful Tears

For Sara, Whenever I May Find Her

Chapter 3: I Kissed Your Honey Hair With My Grateful Tears

xXx

Central City is a far cry from the decay of Star. This is what she pictures when people talk about a shining beacon. This is what she thinks her father wanted for his city.  

Sara is in Central for work. She has to remind herself of that as she fiddles with the large envelope in her hands. She’s been sitting in her rental car, staring at the former firehouse for nearly thirty minutes. She has to get to the studio soon and a part of her thinks this detour was a bad idea, but then she remembers what’s in the envelope and her nerves grow but she’s suddenly excited.

Sara has caught sight of Leonard twice now. His coveralls match everyone else's and he laughs at something one of the other mechanics says. The years have been kind to him and while she had hoped he would find something better for himself, she also won’t assume he hasn’t. This place is a far cry from the little garage he’d told her about all those years ago.

Eventually, Sara realizes she’s running out of time, so she climbs out of the car and heads for the garage. At the last minute she veers off course, ducking into the stairwell and making her way up to the office.

There are three people in the office. Two women in jeans and t-shirts with the garage logo and a man in coveralls in a small kitchen off in the corner. They all look up as she steps in. One of the women smiles at her and despite her nerves Sara finds herself smiling back as she approaches her.

“Hi, can I help you?” the woman asks. The nameplate on her desk reads Kendra, followed by Office Manager.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could leave something for one of your mechanics.” Sara replies, stopping in front of her desk.

“I don’t see why not. Who is it for?” sh asked as Sara holds out the envelope.

“Leonard Snart.” Sara explains and Kendra takes it, smiling all the while.

“And who should I tell him it’s from?”

“His road trip buddy.” she says simply.

The woman doesn’t look skeptical, but it’s clear  she doesn’t know what that means, which is just fine by Sara. She’s nervous enough without thinking about who he might have shared things with. It already bothers her that she let things slip to her family in a moment of weakness.

“Alright, I’ll make sure he gets it.” Kendra tells her and this time Sara smiles back, thanking her and turning to walk out.

Sara walks back to her car and gets in, driving off without sparing a second glance at the garage, concerned she might see him and get distracted again.

xXx

Leonard makes his way up into the office after his shift, showered and ready to go home for the night. He’s done early tonight, hoping to get some work done at home on a new patent he’s been plugging away at for months.

“Hey, Len, done for the day?” Kendra greets him as he enters from the garage stairwell.

“Yeah, we’re not that busy today, so I’m ducking out early.” Leonard explains, pulling a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

Kendra simply hums, as he walks by again. “Someone stopped in to see you today.” she tells him, stopping him short of the door. He turns to look at her, confused.

“Who?” he asks. “It wasn’t Alexis was it?” he grimaces and Kendra stops herself from laughing. It’s not really funny. Alexis had been a huge mistake on Leonard’s part and while they liked to tease him about his less than successful past relationships, Alexis was a whole new level of crazy.

“No, she left something for you.” Kendra replies, pulling the large envelope out of her desk drawer. “She said to tell you its from your road trip buddy.”

Kendra watches in fascination as Leonard freezes. His eyes are planted firmly on the envelope and he looks as though he doesn’t quite believe her.

“What did she look like?”

“About my height, blonde.” Kendra tells him. When he doesn’t react she holds the envelope out to him. That seems to snap him out of it and he retraces his steps up to her desk taking it.

“Thanks, Kendra.” he finally says, turning to walk out again.

On street level he heads in the direction of his home. Some days he likes to walk. It’s nice to see the neighborhood as he walks through, catch the changes he would miss if he were driving. Today he wishes he had driven. The envelope gets heavier and heavier with each step, a feeling of anxiousness settling in the pit of his stomach. It couldn’t honestly be this simple, that she would just show up one day; today.

The trip home passes in a blur and the next thing he knows he’s sitting on his sofa, staring at the envelope on the coffee table. He’s stressed the entire walk home, desperate to open it, to find out what it is, what she left him, but now that he’s here, he finds himself unable to move. The envelope taunts him, reminding him of all the time that’s passed.

His cell phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out. There’s a text message from Mick reminding him that he promised to join them for drinks at the bar. That seems to be the catalyst he needs to act, unwilling to spend the evening out thinking about the gift that’s been left for him.

He peels open the flap and slips out the papers inside, his heart fluttering at the sight of the photographs now revealed to him. He’s wondered on and off for years how the pictures they had taken had turned out and now he finally has an answer.

He’s heard of, experienced it himself, the idea that memory is greater than experience. That nostalgic thoughts are better than reality. And yet as he sits there, staring at the photos of her in his bed, in his apartment, he realizes this is not the case. His memory hasn’t faltered in fifteen years. She’s as beautiful as he remembers. The sparkle of her brilliant blue eyes, the shy smile as she looks at the camera over the rise of his chest.

There is another picture, one of him lying in the grass. He remembers her taking it after he had fallen and he’s surprised to see it’s turned out well given how hard she was laughing at him. It’s not a bad looking photo of him if he’s honest. He’s taken worse pictures. He thinks Lisa would like this one of him, she’s always trying to take his picture for one reason or another. Something about not having enough of him growing up. A small part of him thinks that’s not such a bad thing.

The last thing in the envelope is a handwritten note with the logo of the Marriott downtown in the corner. Her handwriting is loopy and slanted and there are ink stains where she’s hesitated to start or end a sentence.

_Len,_

_I hope this finds you well. I’m not entirely sure what I was hoping for by giving this to you. That’s not true, I know exactly what I was hoping for. But it seems kind of silly of me to assume that you haven’t completely forgotten about me before I just showed up again. Fifteen years is a long time after all. Maybe this was a bad idea, but I couldn’t help but try._

_I don’t expect you to drop everything, and I’m going to be in town for a few months working on a new project, so if you find the time, or you just want to get together and catch up, I’ll be at the Marriott Extended Stay Suites downtown, Room 4216. I’ll be spending the rest of the week in after I finish work._

_I hope I get to see you while I’m here._

_Love,_

_Sara_  

It’s not possible to quantify the feelings that threaten to overwhelm him as he reads through her letter once then twice. To know that she has thought of him as he has thought of her. To know that he hasn’t been pining (because the more he thinks about it the more he realizes that’s exactly what he’s been doing) for a woman who doesn’t even remember him, who would pass him on the street, exchange pleasantries and keep walking like they hadn’t shared something deeper than either of them intended all those years ago. It rattles something loose in him.

Before Leonard has time to think about it, he’s grabbing his car keys and running out the door. The trip downtown at this time of day takes him nearly an hour and a half but his narrow single minded determination is stronger than any discomfort. He pulls into the parking lot of her hotel and does not stop to consider that he may seem desperate, or that she may not be back from work yet. He does not stop as he gets off the elevator on the forty second floor, doesn’t think twice as he raises a fist to knock on 4216.

The door opens and she’s there, looking up at him with surprise and relief, like she actually believed he wouldn’t come.

“Hi.” he says. It’s all he can think of in that moment.

“Hi.” she replies.

And then their coming together. He steps over the threshold and she welcomes him without hesitation, wrapping her arms around his neck as he wraps his around her waist. The door swings shut behind him as their lips come together and for a split second he’s twenty one again and she’s nineteen and the the whole world has fallen away; it’s just them.   

xXx

Sara kind of feels like throwing up. All day she’s had work to distract her, but now as she sits, staring at the blank television screen she has no choice but to dwell on the morning’s events. She resists the urge to cringe every time she thinks about how awkward she must have seemed to the woman in the office, or how crazy she was to give her _that_ name. She considers that she may not have even given him the envelope because of her strange responses, she probably thought she was a stalker.

Sara stresses over the insecurities of it all. She’d expressed a few in the little note she wrote him, something else she tries not to dwell too hard on. It’s entirely possible he’s in a relationship or married, or that he doesn’t remember her. She tries not to think about what that rejection would feel like if he decides not to come. She supposes she’ll survive, but she realized as she drove away this morning that she’s much more invested in this than she let on when she had spoken to Tommy last week.

It’s nearly seven and Sara decides to order room service. She hasn’t had the chance to go grocery shopping yet and even if she had she’s just not in the mood to cook anyway. The front desk tells her it will be up in no less than an hour, so when only thirty minutes pass before there’s a knock on her door she’s ready to give the bellboy a large tip.

Leonard is so much taller than she remembers. He’s more handsome too. For the second time that day she considers how good the years have been to him. Standing there under his gaze she feels all of nineteen again, his icy blue eyes watching her the way he had that night in his apartment. Like he’s just so damn happy she’s there. For a moment she regrets not staying in the clothes she wore to work this morning instead of changing into yoga pants and an old navy blue sweater she doesn’t remember buying, practically threadbare and hanging off one shoulder. But then he speaks;

“Hi.” he says.

“Hi.” she replies. Not the most eloquent greeting, neither was his. It doesn’t matter though, because there’s nothing else to say after that. She registers him stepping over the threshold around the time she realizes she’s leaning into him, her arms around his neck, his around her waist and their lips moving against each other in a desperate dance. Her feet aren’t on the ground, and that’s not a metaphor. He’s quite literally lifted her off her feet as he pulled her against him, backing them further into the suite.

How Leonard manages to find the sofa, Sara has no idea, but all of a sudden he’s sitting down, pulling her into his lap. She breaks the kiss long enough that they can breath and then they dive back in. There’s nothing quite like this feeling. Sara thinks maybe this is what coming home feels like, when home isn’t tainted by memories of inadequacy and years of conflict.

Leonard’s hands are working their way under her sweater, smoothing along the skin, mapping out the scars and blemishes that weren’t there fifteen years ago. While he does that, she explores him as well, sliding her hands up his shirt, scratching along his abs and delighting as they twitch under her attention.

Leonard groans against her mouth, pulling her tighter against him and tipping sideways until she’s lying on top of him, straddling his thigh. Sara gasps, but not because of the sudden movement. Leonard’s pocket begins to buzz and he curses, struggling to get his phone free of his jeans.

“Shit.” he breathes, answering. “Hey, something's come up, I can’t make it tonight.” he says. “No, I know. Next time.”  he continues looking up at her apologetically. It’s the first time either of them have stopped long enough to consider what their doing and quite frankly, Sara doesn’t like it. So, she smirks at him, sits back and pulls her sweater off, watching his eyes glaze over as he stares up at her. “I know, I’m sorry, I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” he says, hanging up. He turns the phone off and tosses it onto the coffee table.

“That’s better.” she teases, leaning down to suck a mark into his neck.

xXx

Leonard carries her to the sofa and pulls her into his lap, loving the feel of her against him. When she opened the door he wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. He did, however, know he hadn’t expected to find her standing there in his favorite sweater, the one that went missing around the time she had left to continue her trip. Its worn and faded like she wears it often and he’s not entirely sure what to do with that revelation, so he shoves it in the back of his mind and focuses on the here and now. Except, the here and now is interrupted again as he lays back, his phone going off in his pocket, startling them both.

Leonard knows he’s damn lucky to have the friends he does, but at the moment he curses their existence, answering the call because he knows they’ll just keep interrupting if he doesn’t.  

“Hey, something’s come up, I can’t make it tonight.” he said hurriedly.

It’s Wally’s voice on the other end of the line. It must be his turn to call and get his excuse. “Come on man, you promised this time.”

“No, I know. Next time.” he should feel bad, because he did, in fact, promise, but as he looks up at the woman still straddling his thigh he realizes he doesn’t.

“You say that every time.” Wally continues, the sounds of their friends in the background, yelling at him to “get his ass down here”. For a second he considers it. He did make plans with them first, maybe he could take Sara with him. He thinks she’d like his little found family a lot. But when he looks up at her she only smirks at him, tugging the hem of his sweater up and pulling it off of herself completely, leaving little doubt that he was right. She was, in fact, not wearing a bra.

All thoughts of leaving that room fly from his mind. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” he simply says, ending the call and turning off the phone for good measure. He’ll have to deal with them tomorrow, but that’s a problem for future Leonard. Present Leonard is a little preoccupied.

xXx

Sara assumes the interruptions are over, she completely forgets about the room service she ordered an hour ago.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Leonard curses as she pulls away and she laughs, scooping up her shirt on the floor and putting it back on.

“You might want to fix yourself Casanova.” she tells him, eyeing the impressive bulge in the front of his jeans. She doesn’t stick around to see if he does, but when she returns, leading the bell boy in with her cart of food, he’s sitting up and there’s a pillow in his lap. “Thank you.” she tells the bellboy, handing him a tip and then seeing him out.

When she returns, Leonard is still sitting, the pillow still there and she thinks he might be trying to look disgruntled if not for the way his stomach growls.

“Hungry?” she teases. She watches the way his eyes move over her before replying;

“I skipped lunch today.”

She smiles. “Well, trust me, I ordered plenty.”

She watches as Leonard moves to get up, only to stop and lean back again. “Give it a minute.” he tells her and she can’t help the laugh that bubbles up.

xXx

_Leonard follows Sara down to her truck, carrying one of her bags despite her protests. Their time together is drawing to a close and he’s not at all happy about it. Mick’s still up in his apartment so whatever goodbye he planned has to be revised for a much more public place. They walk slowly toward the car, they’ve already exchanged numbers and promises to keep in touch as best they can. Now all that’s left is goodbye._

_“So, if you’re ever in Central again.”_

_“I’ll be sure to let you know.” Sara replies as they pack her bags into the truck bed. “And if you ever decide to drive cross country again and want a Road Trip Buddy…”_

_“I’ll give you a call.” he finishes. There’s a lapse in conversation as they stand beside her truck. Neither of them are willing to walk away just yet, but they both know they don’t have much of a choice. Leonard has a birthday party to get to and Sara has to get back to her own trip. A selfish part of her wants to try to convince him to come with her, just as much as the selfish part of him wants to convince her to stay. But they know they can’t. They have lives to live, responsibilities to look after. Maybe if they had met under different circumstances. If Lisa were older and didn’t quite need him, or if Sara were more settled, more confident in her future, they could give into the longing that plagues them both._

_But they can’t, so Leonard steps into her space and kisses her gently, and when they seperate she gets in her car and drives away, unknowingly and perhaps unintentionally, putting fifteen years between them._        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments. I'm sorry I'm trash at replying!


	4. Tripping Down Alleyways

For Sara, Whenever I May Find Her

Chapter 4: Tripping Down Alleyways

xXx

Sara had dated a bit in the last fifteen years. Three people seriously, and four more casually. Two of the serious relationships ended on good terms, but her most recent one wasn’t so lucky. 

Ava Sharpe is an amazing woman. She’s driven and compassionate. She knows what she wants and she goes for it without hesitation. Unfortunately, after two years, what she wanted and what Sara wanted didn’t line up. 

Ava is in the top ranks at Interpol, mostly dealing with bizzare cross borders crimes. It’s how they met. A former member of Sara’s crew was using their travels to drop letters in the mail addressed to an inspector at New Scotland Yard. He’d been taunting the man for years in some twisted revenge scheme for falsely accusing his brother of murder, leading to his brother’s suicide and a whole mess of other legal troubles. 

It was perfect in the beginning. They were both busy with their own careers so they weren’t concerned with trying to see each other all the time. They talked when they could, but eventually they  _ both  _ wanted more. Sara spent a good amount of time when she wasn’t working, in London where Ava was stationed, and it worked. They were working out well for awhile, but then Ava wanted things to change again. She wanted a bigger commitment, she wanted Sara to settle down with her, to make a home and possibly start a family. 

Now, Sara isn’t opposed to the idea of “starting” a family. In fact, she’s considered the idea on several occasions. Unfortunately for Ava that scenario usually involved her taking her family out on the road with her. Something that would require Ava to give up her own career. In the end, it was obvious that neither of them were willing to give up their careers. Sara wasn’t interested in becoming some studio executive in Tommy’s company and Ava wasn’t interested in becoming the equivalent of a trophy wife. So they had to go their separate ways. They weren’t particularly happy about it and both of them were a little bitter over the other’s inability to compromise or see things their way. 

Sara had realized that her biggest problem was the desire to be domestic in the least domestic situation. Sitting there with Leonard in her hotel room, sharing a plate of chicken parm and catching up on the last fifteen years was the most domestic she’d ever felt and she thought to herself that this was what she had wanted. 

“How’s Lisa?” she asks, picking at a piece of chicken. 

“She’s great. Working on her doctorate in Chemistry at Gotham University.” he explains rather proudly. 

She smiles. “That’s amazing.” she tells him. 

Leonard smiles in return. “Dean’s list every year. Full ride scholarships. She’s already got a few labs and companies sending her offers of employment.” 

Sara grinned. “I’m glad to hear everything worked out for her.” 

Leonard hums. “How about you? How’s your family?” 

Sara hesitates. “We uh, we buried my father last week.” 

Leonard freezes, taken back. “I’m so sorry Sara, what happened?” 

“He had a heart attack at work. He’s had a bad heart all his life and being a cop certainly hasn’t helped.” she explains. “Mom’s trying to hold it together but I can see how lonely she is. Laurel’s struggling too. They were always so close, you know.” 

“And what about you?” he asks. 

Sara shrugs, pushing food around her half of the plate. “I’m just trying to keep busy, honestly. I’m working on a new documentary.” she continues diverting the conversation. 

“Is that why you’re in Central?” he asks. 

“Yeah, the editing studio is here.” she smiles. It had been nice to hear that he was aware of her success, though he had explained that he didn’t really follow entertainment news. “It’ll probably be a few months of work. Between having to watch everything we recorded and piecing it all together.” 

Leonard smiles slightly. “So you’ll be around then?” She smiles back and simply nods. “Good.” 

Sara looks away, trying to hide the blush she can feel creeping up. She’s not a teenager anymore, there’s no reason for her to react this way. “So, how about you? That garage I tracked you down at is  _ not  _ the same one you told me about before.” 

Leonard huffs a laugh. “Yeah, things have… been interesting.” he chuckles. “I, uh... Mick and Lisa convinced me to patent a few of my inventions and designs. It turns out most of them were pretty lucrative.”

“Seriously?” Sara asks delighted. 

Leonard nods as he continues; “Yeah, so when the money started coming in I decided to invest it in Mick’s garage. I can’t really imagine myself being idle for very long, so I still work there part time.” 

“Well, color me impressed.” 

Leonard smirks. “How impressed?” he asks, the suggestiveness in his voice leaving little to the imagination. 

Sara rolls her eyes, but can’t hold back the laughter. “It’s really good to see you again.” 

xXx

Talking to Sara is like settling into sheets fresh from the dryer. It’s warm and cozy and nothing like he imagined. Sitting across from her now, he’s struck by how much she’s changed. Older obviously, but also more settled, more comfortable in her own skin. 

He’d fibbed a bit when he told her he was aware of her success but didn’t follow entertainment news very closely. He doesn't of course, but he does follow news about her. She doesn’t need to know that though. Doesn’t need to know that he’s tracked down all of her documentaries and the work she did before that or started watching award shows just to catch a glimpse of her on the red carpet whenever her work is nominated. 

No it’s much better to remain detached to an extent. To not let on that he’s in deep with her. That he’s thought about her regularly, more regularly than should be normal for what basically amounted to a brief acquaintance. 

They finish dinner and Sara returns the empty dishes to the food cart before wheeling it back out into the hallway to be picked up. Leonard is standing at the large window overlooking the city below when she returns and he doesn’t turn as he hears her approach. She stops beside him, leaning into his side slightly. He looks down at her, the ghost of a smile on his face. 

There’s a conversation that passes silently between them and Sara slips her arms around his waist laying her head against his chest, just under his chin. He slides his arm around behind her, pulling her closer and laying a kiss on the top of her head. 

This should have been strange. They haven’t seen each other in fifteen years and yet it was like they had only been separated for a few months. Like she’d gone away to college and was coming home to visit for Christmas break or something of the like. It all just feels right though. The way they fit together. It was a comfort he was neither expecting, nor was disappointed to settle into. 

“How long can you stay?” she asks after a bit. 

“How long do you want me?” he replies. 

He feels, more than hears her little chuckle before she pulls away, stepping between him in the window. There’s a little smirk on her face as she stretches up on her toes and he meets her half way. The kiss this time isn’t frantic but slow, unhurried as they reignite the flame that had smouldered into embers.         

xXx

Three years ago, Sara almost dies on an expedition. She and her crew were filming B roll on a cliff ridge overlooking the Saginaw basin. The wind gusts had been awful all day, and while normally she wouldn’t have put her crew in danger like that, they were nearing their deadline. Sara had decided that if they were going to be in that position she would do most of the work, it was only fair given the risk, and while filming near the edge a gust of wind knocked her off her feet and sent her over. She’d just barely had the chance to grab for something and that something just happened to be her spare tripod. 

On the way down, the tripod’s apex mount got caught on an outcropping, stopping her decent abruptly. Surprisingly it held, keeping her there securely until rescuers could repel down and pick her up. When she’d gotten back on solid ground she was just happy to be alive, but later, the more she thought about it, the more she realized how amazingly unusual it was that her tripod had held her weight for that long in such a precarious position. Never one to attribute miracles to anything, she had their crew’s engineer dismantle it in the hopes of finding out exactly why it was so strong. 

A few days later he came back explaining that the screws that attached the mount to the legs were a new type of screw, tested to be more sturdy and to hold its grip better. They had been designed and rated for manufacturing purposes but according to the company that built her tripod, they had accidentally gotten a shipment of those screws instead of their usual ones and to save money they just kept and used the new design. Her engineer even had a name for the inventor, one Leonard Snart. 

Sara had been floored and had spent the next three days, on and off, looking into Leonard. He’d made quite a name for himself, creating quality products with little to no formal education and capitalizing on it. She was even more surprised to find that they utilized several of his inventions within their crew without evening knowing it. 

So when Leonard had told her what he was doing with himself, how he was able to invest in his friend’s business, she had fibbed, acted surprised, like she hadn’t spent most of a year thinking about him, regularly googling him, looking for new information. 

She doesn’t know why she lied. Perhaps she didn’t want Leonard to know she’d been thinking about him, or maybe she didn’t think he’d take it all that well to know she’s all but cyber stalked him for over a year. Either way she’s in too deep now, so she just goes with it. It makes sense that way anyway. He’s already admitted to knowing about her successes, but he was pretty blase about it. The last thing she needs is for him to think she’s in deeper than him, to think she’s more invested than he is.

When Sara returns from wheeling the cart out, Leonard is at the window, overlooking the city. The sun has long set and the lights of the city are beautiful all around them. As much as she loves the wonder of nature, she can’t deny the appeal of a night lit cityscape either. Especially when a handsome man is standing illuminated by it, all broad shoulders and tall frame. He’s magnificent, a sight to behold and Sara finds her mind going back to that night fifteen years ago, the night she got to see him lit up by the moon in his bedroom, trim packed muscle, warm complexion and eyes that burned with hunger for her. 

Sara slips in beside him, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest. She feels his chin rest on the top of her head as his arm comes up around her, pulling her closer. 

“How long can you stay?” she asks, hoping he understands what she’s really asking him. 

“How long do you want me?” 

She doesn’t know if he realizes how loaded that question is, but it catches her off guard and she bites back a laugh into a chuckle. She slips out from under his arm, putting herself between him and the view. He’s looking down at her with a soft intensity that once again brings her back to that night and she stretches up to meet him halfway, stealing a kiss that becomes more. 

It’s slower this time, and she feels the heat rising again, reigniting what they had started at the door. He backs her against the window, hands on either side of her head as he kisses the breath from her lungs. When they eventually have to pull away, Leonard leans down, going to work on the side of her neck, happy to return the favor from earlier. Her breathing quickens and she tries to grind against him, to find some kind of friction, but he’s bent over, their bodies separated. 

“Len.” she whines, feeling his smirk against her skin. The bastard knows exactly what he’s doing. 

Eventually he takes pity on her, slipping his thigh between her legs as he shifts to the other side of her neck. She’s all too happy to take what he’s offered her, digging her fingers into his shoulders as she rides his jean clad thigh. Leonard slips a hand between her and the glass, molding a palm around her ass, the other hand coming up to slide under her sweater. The little noises she makes as he plays her body are getting louder and she thinks she could finish just like this, but Leonard clearly has other plans. 

xXx

She’s making the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard and Leonard can tell she’s getting close. A sense of pride wells up inside him, but he tamps it down. He’s not going to let this end that easily. He pulls away just enough to lift her up against him, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist. 

“Bedroom.” he forces out as she immediately begins using their new proximity to grind against him. 

“That way.” she vaguely gestures to the wall to her right and the closed french doors. With a bit of maneuvering he manages to get them open, slipping inside.

The bed is truly enormous, matching the suites subtle opulence and he can’t imagine she reserved this for herself. The woman who prefers to camp instead of spending money on a hotel is not a woman who cares about the size of her bed or the fill of the minibar. He’s more than willing to take advantage though.

Leonard lays her out on the bed, loath to leave her embrace, but he does, pulling away enough to rid himself of his shirt and toe off his shoes. Sara gets the message, sitting up and removing her sweater, tossing it aside. He takes her in as he returns to her, wrapping himself around her as he smooths his hands all over her exposed skin. 

“Len.” she breathes as he trails light nips along her skin, down to her chest. “No more teasing.” she says, squirming away enough to sit up. She reaches for his waistband,  pulling the button free and releasing the zipper. Leonard grabs the waistband of her yoga pants pulling them down as slides off the bed, tossing them aside before ridding himself of his own. 

When Leonard returns to the bed they come together, and it’s everything he remembers and all new at the same time. It’s like coming home and finding it all at once. Maybe it’s cheesy, but it’s the best way he knows to describe it. And maybe he’s thinking too much about this, maybe he’s in a little too deep, but that’s where he is and there nowhere else he wants to be.   

xXx

_ Mick has a smirk on his face when Leonard returns to the apartment. Leonard proceeds to ignore him, hopping into the shower and then quickly changing. There’s sometime before they have to leave so he tidies up, changes the sheets, picking up his discarded clothing. There are bags that need unpacking and he can’t seem to find his favorite blue sweater.  He hopes he didn’t leave it in Las Angeles, or in his old car. It’s all busy work, but that’s exactly what he needs right now.  _

_ Eventually the busy work runs out and he needs to leave.  _

_ “Ready to go?” Mick asks as he steps out of his room.  _

_ “Yeah, let’s go surprise Lisa.”  _


	5. A View From The Sidelines Part I

For Sara, Whenever I May Find Her

Chapter 5: The View From The Sidelines Part I

xXx

Leonard walks into the shop the next morning slipping passed the office stairwell and just barely making it to the locker rooms when Mick makes his move. There’s no way in hell he’s letting Leonard get away, not when he knows perfectly well why he bailed on them the night before. 

_ “I wonder if this has anything to do with that woman who stopped by to see him this morning?” Kendra asks softly so only Shawna can hear her. Mick, however, is close enough to hear her as well.  _

_ “What woman?” Mick questions, keeping his voice low enough not to alert the others.  _

_ “Some blonde woman came into the office this morning and asked if she could leave something for Leonard.” Shawna explains.  _

_ “What was her name?”  _

_ She shrugs. “Don’t know, all she said was tell him it’s from his ‘Road trip buddy’. Whatever that means.”  _

_ Mick smirks, lighting confusion across their faces. “And, uh, what did Leonard say when you gave it to him?”  _

_ “Not much really, he kinda looked like he was having an aneurysm.” Kendra says. “He was so surprised he could barely speak.”  _

_ “Do you know who she is?” Shawna asks.  _

_ “Maybe,” Mick replies. “Blonde hair, blue eyes?” they nod. “And she called herself his road trip buddy. Yeah, I think I know exactly who she is.”  _

_ When he doesn’t say anything else, both women look at him expectantly. He simply smirks and turns back to the conversation with the rest of the crew.     _

“So, what’s the excuse this time?” Mick questions. Leonard sighs, turning to face him. He’s aware of Jax and Wally standing behind him and a part of him wishes he had tried to convince the rest of the crew to be here for this. He can respect Leonard’s privacy, but he decided the minute Leonard cut Wally’s call off and turned his phone off that he wasn’t going to let this slide. 

Mick met Leonard in high school, or at least in what little time either of them went. They hadn’t hit it off right away. Mick was a rebel, acting out against his strict military father who ran their household like an army barrack. Leonard was neat and organized, obsessively so, trying to find order in the chaos that was life with Lewis Snart. They were complete opposites, until they weren’t anymore. 

Lewis was forced into early retirement a year after Mick met Leonard. They were sophomores in high school. By this time they were on better terms, each of them balancing the other. Mick had met Lewis all of once before he vowed never to complain to Leonard about his own father ever again. Richard Rory may have been strict, but at least he cared enough to be anything to his son. In fact it was meeting Lewis and watching him interact with Leonard and Lisa that convinced Mick to curb his rebellious ways a bit. Not completely, of course, he had to keep his parents on their toes, but enough that they weren’t worried about him anymore, his father could actually release his grip on him. 

Mick didn’t see much of Leonard in the first few weeks after his father was released from the hospital. He wasn’t at school as regularly as he knew Leonard would have liked and when Mick went over after school to bring him the work he missed, he’d find the work from the day before still untouched on the kitchen table, Lewis screaming from upstairs for someone to bring him something. 

It was at this point that Leonard’s step mother began to distance herself. Leonard would confide in him later that he had seen the writing on the wall and had hoped that when she eventually left she would take Lisa with her, give her the home she deserved. She didn’t, finding a fresh start for herself and abandoning her daughter to what had become of their abusive father. 

Mick tried to help, even going so far as to tell his parents what was going on. They tried to help too, but Lewis still had friends in the department and they were more than happy to make any complaints go away. When it became obvious that no one was going to help them, Mick stepped up, watching Leonard’s back, kept him out of trouble as best he could. It was an uphill battle, especially when Leonard realized his life was setting in stone and this was more than likely all he would ever know. He hardened himself against the pain and pushed forward, blank faced, calculating and ready to fight for whatever he and Lisa needed. 

The point is, Mick has always had Leonard’s back and he always will. If that means getting on his case about his antisocial tendencies or pushing him toward the cute blonde who dropped something off for him the day before, than so be it. 

“Something else came up.” Leonard explains, purposely refusing to elaborate.

“What could possibly have come up that you would ditch us at the last minute?” Jax questions. Mick can hear the slight pout in his voice and bites back a smile. Jax is a good kid. He worries about everyone. He used to being apart of a team and after being forced to give up football in high school, they are the new team he looks after and vice versa. 

“It’s personal.” Leonard tells them, taking a step back. He wants to leave, wants this conversation to be over, but Mick isn’t going to let it go that easily. 

“It wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with the woman who stopped by to see you yesterday, would it?” 

Leonard has an excellent poker face, that and the fact that he can count cards is the reason Mick won’t play poker with him anymore. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“A woman? You ditched us for a hookup?” Wally questions. The spark of anger that crosses Leonard’s face quickly tells Mick all he needs to know, but he’s not about to come to Leonard’s defense, not this time. 

“It’s none of your business.” he snaps, turning on his heels and storming into the locker room. 

Wally looks apologetic, he hadn’t meant it as a bad thing, and if Leonard had been in the right state of mind he would have noticed he was teasing. 

“Don’t worry about it kid.” Mick tells him. “He’ll realize when he cools off. He’s always been a little defensive when it comes to Sara.” 

“Sara?” Jax asks. “Whose Sara and why have we never heard of her before.” 

“It’s a long story, and if Leonard is lucky, she’ll be around long enough for him to lighten up and finally talk about it.” 

Leonard made it no secret that he didn’t want to discuss Sara with him. Not when the conversation could so easily turn on him. Knowing how much Sara had come to mean to him in such a short time, Mick couldn’t blame him. Theirs was particularly unconventional and the idea that someone could say something to poison the good feelings the memory of that summer invoked in him put him on the defensive more often than not. He refused to speak of it, for fear of judgement, and Mick was certain that he had not walked in on them the next morning, Leonard would have kept it secret even from him.

For most of the morning Leonard is quiet. He only speaks when someone asks him a question and if he needs something, and anytime someone new comes in for their shift and tries to harass him about not showing up he makes it very clear that he doesn’t care if any of them are upset with him. 

Mick knows it’s all an act, a shell he always builds around himself when he wants to hide from the world, but he also knows that a lot has changed in the many years Lewis has been out of his life and not only does he rarely retreat into himself like this, he doesn’t particularly like to do it at all. There are too many bad memories attached the action, and he’ll do just about anything to avoid reverting to that cold calculating kid who had to fight his way through life in a way no kid ever should have to. 

By lunch, Leonard isn’t looking quite as angry, but he still doesn’t interact when he doesn’t have to. Mick knows he needs to do something about it, that it’s partially his fault for pushing him into a place he knows makes Leonard uncomfortable, but Mick also knows if he doesn’t push, Leonard will go about his life just barely living. Still surviving and nothing more. 

“I ordered lunch, but the deli is all backed up so I told them I’d come pick it up.” Mick tells Leonard as he watches said man scrub the grease from his hands. “Need help carrying it back.” Leonard pauses, looking up at him incredulously. Mick doesn’t let anything show and eventually Leonard sighs.

“Fine. Give me a minute.” he tells him.

Mick leaves him to clean up himself and in a few minutes they meet out front. It’s mid October, and the air is still comfortable. They’ve both slipped out of the top half of their coveralls and tied the arms around their waists, long sleeved shirts underneath. 

The deli is just a few blocks down the street so they walk, silent at first. 

“So, Sara’s back in town, eh?” Mick says, breaking the tense air around Leonard, and watching him almost visibly deflate. 

“Yeah, how’d you know?” Leonard asks. 

“Shawna and Kendra mentioned that a blonde haired woman calling herself your road trip buddy dropped something off for you yesterday. Don’t know of anyone else like that.” Mick explains. “Any chance you’ll tell me what she left for you?” 

“Just some pictures from the trip she found when she was cleaning out her father’s house, and a note saying where she was staying while she was in town.” 

“And you just rushed right over?” 

Leonard shrugs. “She may have implied that she was very much hoping I would show up at some point. She even said she’d be staying in all week after work.” 

“She’s here for work?” Mick asks as they make into the deli. 

“Yeah, apparently the studio she usually edits her films with was unavailable for this one so she had to find another.” 

“And she chose Central City.” it’s not a question. Mick can see between the lines. How convenient that the company she intends to do business with just happens to be in the same city as the man she made a connection with fifteen years earlier. And how convenient that she just happened to find those photos right before coming here. 

“I know what your thinking, but can we not imply that a highly successful woman with multiple academy awards chose to do business here over a mechanic?” 

“A mechanic with nearly two dozen patents to his name and half a dozen more in the the queue.” Mick mutters under his breath as he pays for their lunch with the company card, before they turned and walked out with the bags of food. 

“It’s hardly the same.” Leonard says as they retrace their steps back to the garage. 

“Getting a little self conscious, Snart? You shouldn’t.” Mick tells him and Leonard sighs. 

“And why’s that, oh wise relationship guru? Remind me. When was the last time you had a date?”

Mick stops short, prompting Leonard to do the same. “Cause ya didn’t see the way she looked at you all those years ago. Like there wasn’t anywhere else she wanted to be, like leaving that morning was the hardest thing she’d ever have to do.” Mick tells him, all teasing gone. “And you weren’t much better. You two spent three days together and now fifteen years later you still think about each other, to the point that you, at least, measure up every emotion in your relationships against the things you felt that summer. And maybe it’s because you were both vulnerable and you were there for each other when you needed someone the most, or maybe it was fate, but the point is, shit like this doesn’t happen everyday. People don’t always find someone and instinctively know there’s something there without consciously thinking about it. People don’t always get lucky and meet their soulmates so young, or at all for that matter. When she walked out that door, I know you were thinking it was over and you regretted that, but you have another chance now and if she doesn’t feel the same way, then eat my whole tool box.”

Leonard stares back at him, eyes a little wider than usual, the only indication that anything Mick has said has affected him. Slowly they start walking again and Leonard doesn’t say anything, even after they reach the garage. He eats his lunch with the rest of the crew and maybe they can sense that the tension he’s been carrying all day has changed because they avoid addressing him at all. 

Leonard goes about the rest of his shift and when he’s done he hits the showers and comes out to find Mick waiting for him by his car. 

“You really need to publish under your own name, Mick.” Leonard tells him as he tosses his bag into the cab of his pick up. 

“I wasn’t trying to sell you anything.” Mick tells him, and it’s only have true. Maybe all Leonard really needs is a wake up call, and as his best friend, his brother, it’s Mick’s job to make sure he gets it, whether he likes it or not. 

“I know, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t inspiring.” Leonard replies simply, climbing up into the driver’s seat. “I’ll see you on Monday.” he says as he shuts the door. 

Mick watches, a little smirk on his face as Leonard pulls out of the parking lot and disappears around the corner at the end of the street, in the opposite direction of his house.

xXx

_ “You wrote all of these?” Leonard questions and Mick thinks he picked his friend pretty well when he doesn’t detect an ounce of real surprise in his voice.  _

_ “Yeah, just keeps me busy when I’m not working.” Mick explains.  _

_ Leonard huff. “Very busy.” he mutters, thumbing through the accordian file, one of over a dozen, filled with handwritten and typed pages. “Hold on,” Leonard says, stopping short on a familiar name. “I’ve seen this one before.” he continues, flipping through the tightly bound pages. “This is one of Lisa’s favorite books. Her friends are all obsessed with the whole series.” Leonard looks up at him. “Did you write these?”  _

_ “Yeah, just something I thought I could try for extra money. Didn’t think it would get so big.” he explains.  _

_ “Big? Mick this is a national best seller. The last one’s been in the top ten for two months.” Leonard tells him as if he doesn’t already know. “Looks like you got your wish though, you’ve certainly got more than enough extra spending money.”  _

_ “Not quite.” Mick sighs. “Turns out eighteen year olds shouldn’t anonymously publish, or sign contracts without an attorney present. When the book series got big, the publisher hit me with a clause in my contract that I hadn’t seen before. Not only do they now own the rights to my book, but they took pretty much all the money from the sales too.”  _

_ Leonard looks outraged. “Well there has to be something you can do.”  _

_ Mick shakes his head. “Probably, but I’m not really interested in it. I wrote them because I enjoyed it. The series is done, I have no reason to write anymore, let them have it and we’ll call this a lesson learned.”  _

_ “That’s… not fair.”  _

_ He shrugs. “Most things in life aren’t.”  _

_ “But… Mick you have hundreds of stories here. You could go to another publisher, this time with your own name, and a lawyer.” _

_ “I don’t think so.” Mick brushes it off as his mother calls up the stairs for them to come down to dinner. Mick says no more, getting up and heading out, leaving Leonard dazed and slightly confused behind him.  _


	6. The View From The Side Lines Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of short, but the points I was trying to get across were a lot easier to write than the last one.

For Sara, Whenever I May Find Her

Chapter 6: A View From The Sidelines Part II

xXx

“You have been smiling all day.” Zari tells her, sliding into the seat next to Sara at the editing bay. Sara looks away from the triple screens, her eyes a little glazed over. Zari can’t blame her, she’s been cataloguing B-roll all day and no matter how much any of them love their jobs, certain aspects are ridiculously boring. 

“What?” she questions, blinking away the tiredness.

“I said you’ve been smiling all day.” It’s not entirely true. It hasn’t been all day. She’s not smiling now for instance. Now she looks even more confused than before. 

“Nuh uh.” is her less than eloquent reply. Zari resists the urge to laugh. 

“You kinda have.” 

Sara scowls, pausing the footage she’s been watching and slipping her headphones down around her neck. “What are you talking about?” 

This time Zari does laugh. “You came in here this morning like you were on cloud nine, and you’ve just been in an annoyingly good mood all day.” 

“And that constitutes smiling all day?” Sara asks. 

“Alright, maybe not all day, but I meant it more as a figure of speech than literal.” 

“Uh huh, and why exactly do you think I’ve been in a good mood all day?” 

“You definitely got laid last night. Multiple times if that glow about you is anything to go by.” Zari tells her, watching Sara flounder as she tries to come up with an adequate response. “You have a way about you when you’ve had sex. A tell if you will.” 

“I do not.” Sara exclaims, sputtering. As unflappable as she always seems to the outside world, no one knows how to get under her skin like Zari. It’s a skill cultivated from living together for nearly four years in college, and years after, sharing pretty much everything including very thin walls between bedrooms.

“It also doesn’t hurt that I ran into your late night rendezvous this morning when I came to get you for breakfast.” Zari lets her off the hook, though from the look on Sara’s face it’s not much better. “He was very cute, by the way. I don’t know how you managed to pick someone up when you never left your room but I suppose that’s just your superpower.” Sara relaxes minutely and Zari can’t help but to think it’s suspicious, so she pushes on. “I couldn’t shake the feeling that I knew him though. He just looked so familiar.” 

“Really?” Sara finally speaks. “Where do you think you’ve seen him before?” 

“If I knew that I wouldn’t still be questioning it.” Zari tells her, and the relief that she catches crossing Sara’s face before she can hide it just makes her all the more suspicious. 

One would think the daughter of a police officer would know how to lie better, but one of the first things Zari learned on orientation day was how awful she was at it. She got nervous and a little twitchy and scoffed... a lot. It was actually kind of funny. And extremely awkward. Second hand embarrassment ran rampant when Sara tried to lie. 

“So, who is he?” she asks, finally cutting to the chase. She loves playing this game with Sara, but it’s been bothering her all day. Sara looks hesitant and the curiosity only grows. 

Zari has been Sara’s best friend since college, both of them in the same program. Between that and living together, they fell in together pretty quickly and have remained inseparable ever since. Sara was there for her through all of the heavy anxiety college usually brought on and Zari was there for Sara when the anxiety was only compounded by the lack of support from her family. For the longest time Sara had been alone, cut off from her mother and sister in her attempt to avoid her father’s disapproval. The fact that neither of them put much effort into trying to see her when he wasn’t around telegraphed a clear message whether they meant it to or not. They loved her, but they agreed with him. 

Sara didn’t like to think about, or acknowledge it, but Zari would never forget the sounds of her best friend crying at night when the pressure got too much. When all she wanted to do was call home but she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t let them know she was stressed, that she was struggling. She couldn’t validate their beliefs. Zari made it a point to fold Sara into her own family, and her mother, the kind, generous soul that she was, was more than happy to have another daughter. They shared their traditions with each other and created their own as well. For years Zari, her mother and their friends were the only family Sara truly had. 

After college, they were both hired by the same company, so they moved in together in their new city, knowing they would be traveling a lot and it didn’t make sense to have two apartments they would rarely use. Even now, as successful as they are, they still live together. 

When Sara left the company to make her own documentaries, Zari was nervous. She knew this is what Sara’s ultimate goal had been all along, but just because she had been working toward it, didn’t mean she would be successful. Maybe it wasn’t entirely healthy, but Zari wanted her to succeed so Sara could prove her family wrong. She knew deep down Sara felt the same, but Zari’s anger at them for everything they withheld from her for years put all of that at the forefront of her mind. So, when Sara left, Zari went with her. And no matter what happened now or in the future, she would never regret the decision. 

Sara sighs, drawing Zari from her thoughts. She watches her best friend shift uncomfortably in her chair and Zari is brought back to the day Sara’s father had called after years of radio silence. There was nothing more satisfying than hearing that he had called and, not in so many words, admitted he had been wrong, that he regretted keeping their family apart. But Sara hadn’t been enitriely happy to hear from him. Despite his words, his previous actions still stung and if they were going to reconcile it was going to take a lot more than a phone call to fix. Sara had cut herself off from most of her emotional baggage for so long that the idea of having to dig through it again left her shaking and nauseous. 

“That was… Leonard.” Sara finally says, sinking into her chair like the weight of the world is pressing down on her. 

Zari sits and stares for a moment. “Leonard Snart? Your summer fling?” Sara nods, her nerves getting the best of her. A slow smile spreads across Zari’s face. “The guy you’ve been cyber stalking since you found out he inadvertently saved your life? The man with whom you, subconsciously, compare all other partners to.” 

“I don’t do that.”

“You do, you just don’t know it. That’s why it’s subconscious.” Zari replies. Her grin only widens. “So you finally took the plunge and went to see him then. I’m impressed, I didn’t think you had it in you.” 

“Why not?” Sara asks and it’s not outraged, which Zari takes to mean she knows exactly why. 

“Well, I mean, you and Ava just broke up a few months ago and despite the reasons you split up, you two were getting pretty serious. Plus, I can’t imagine you didn’t think about the fact that he may have been in a relationship himself. Clearly he’s not.” 

Sara shakes her head and there’s that smile again. Whatever happened last night had gone a long way to pulling Sara out of the emotional pit she’d fallen into after her father’s death. Sara and her father had been on the road to patching things up and even though it had been a few years since they got back in touch again, recovery had been slow. Her father had never openly admitted that he was wrong, and while Sara could tell he regretted his actions and the distance he forced between them, it was really all Sara wanted to hear to finally be able to let go completely. She just needed to hear the words, that’s all. Now that he was gone she would never get that closure and it haunted her more than she let on. 

“So what’s going on between you?” Zari pushes. “Are you a couple, is this another fling while your in town?” 

“I’m not really sure.” Sara admits. “I wanted to ask this morning, but I just couldn’t make myself say the words, like I was afraid to ruin the moment. This morning was just as great as last night, we were in this bubble of like...domestic bliss? I don’t really know how to explain it, but I didn’t want to wake up from it.” 

Zari smiles. “Then don’t. Just enjoy it. You deserve to be happy and if he makes you happy that’s all that matters. No matter how it ends, or if it ends at all.” 

Sara smiles at her, and Zari is struck by just how happy she looks. Despite  _ saying  _ she was happy, because she’s lied before about being happy, it was a very different thing to actually  _ see  _ her happy. 

There’s still too much work to do, so they talk for a little while longer and then get back to work. Later that night, when neither of them can stand the sight of their own computers anymore, they pack up and head back to the hotel. 

“So, any plans for dinner tonight?” Zari asks as they step off the elevator. Sara doesn’t have to answer though.

Ahead of them, leaning against the wall outside Sara’s room, is Leonard Snart. There’s a large bag of take out on the floor by his feet and while Zari doesn’t particularly like men in that sort of way, she can appreciate them aesthetically. 

Leonard Snart is just as handsome in the evening sunset as he is in the morning light. He’s changed since then, looking well put together in dark jeans, a henley and a black leather jacket. When he notices them he has a smirk for them, a dark, almost naughty sort of thing that leaves little doubt as to why, visually speaking, Sara is attracted to him. Despite her history of past relationships, both serious and casual, she’s always had a thing for darker types. 

“Leonard, this is my Mick, Zari Tomaz.” Sara introduces them and Leonard offers her a hand which she accepts. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Properly at least.” she replies. 

Leonard chuckles. “It’s certainly much less awkward.” 

Zari agrees. “Well, I should get going, leave you to your evening.” she says. “Nate is in town visiting his boyfriend so they invited us to dinner. I’ll let them know you already have other plans.” she continues. 

“Thank you.” Sara says as Zari heads a little further down the hall to her own room. 

xXx

_ “Why aren’t I good enough?” Sara’s voice is small, full of confusion and agony.  _

_ “You are.” Zari replies. “Just because they can’t see it doesn’t mean you aren’t.”  _

_ Sara sniffles a little. Her eyes are bloodshot, her face a little flushed. The deadline for final projects is coming up and like everyone she’s feeling the pressure. No one else has anything to prove though. None of their classmates are here alone, with no support from home that they aren’t already used to living without. Zari knows when Sara asks why she isn’t good enough, she’s not talking about the notes of improvement their professor gave her on her first cut. Zari knows she’s not talking about school at all. _

_ That’s the downside to all this stress. It tends to bring up a lot of bad memories and Sara’s worst memories are from the past Christmas, going home to a chilly reception from her father and a less than supportive mother and sister. She didn’t dare bring up her success from the previous few months, the praise she received from her professors. She knows they won’t care. She had a plan, hers or not, and they didn’t fully understand why she didn’t want to follow it after all the work she put in.  _

_ “I’ll never be the daughter he wants. I never have been.” Sara continues, throwing away pretense and finally saying what she really means.  _

_ “That’s his problem, not yours.” Zari tells her. “Let Laurel be the perfect, obedient one, you have your own life to live.”  _

_ Sara sniffles again, looking over at the woman who has quickly become her best friend. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” she tells her.  _

_ Zari grins. “You’d have eat this whole tub of ice cream by yourself, that’s what.”  _

_ For the first time in days Sara laughs.             _


	7. Day Two: The Next Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end of Part I. Part II will be up shortly and will involve a short time skip.

For Sara, Whenever I May Find Her

Chapter 7: Next Morning

End Part I

xXx

Sara wakes, wrapped in crisp clean sheets, the scent of Leonard all around her. She takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Her heart is full, the pain of the of last few weeks gone from her mind. She wishes she could stay there forever, lying beside him, forgetting the world and everything that came from acknowledging it. 

Unfortunately, she has hundreds of hours of B-roll to catalogue and a deadline for the next film festival. So, reluctantly, she slides to the edge of the bed and sits up ready to get up and start the day. 

Leonard has other ideas though. Before she can stand, he shifts behind her and the next thing she knows his arms are around her waist and he’s pulling her back under the covers, half lying on top of her. 

“No.” he mutters into her hair. 

Sara laughs. “Len, I have to get ready for work.” 

“No, no work. Only sleep.” 

“Mm, as wonderful as that sounds, Zari is meeting me for breakfast in a few hours.” 

“Then we still have a few hours.” he replies, pulling her tighter against him. She laughs again as he buries his face into the crook of her neck. 

“Don’t you have to go to work too?” she asks. 

He hums. “I go in mid morning on Saturdays.” he tells her laying a kiss against her shoulder. 

Sara sighs. “Unfortunately, there won’t be any late mornings until I get the bulk of cataloguing finished.” she replies, wiggling around until he loosens his arms so she can turn to face him. She thinks, as she lies there watching him, that he’s just so pretty. His eyes still closed, long eyelashes dusting his cheeks, the sharp angles of his nose and cheekbones. In another life he could have been a model. 

Sara runs her finger lightly from the bridge of his nose to the tip, biting back a laugh as he twitches at the sensation. She does it again, getting the same result. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, feigning annoyance. 

“Nothing.” she replies simply, though it’s belayed when she does it again. Leonard sighs, finally opening his eyes, a less than convincing glare on his face. She laughs, leaning forward and planting a kiss on the tip of his nose. He grumbles light heartedly and Sara laughs, cuddling up to him. 

“I have to get up.” she tells him a little while later. “I’ve officially pushed the limit of time I can lounge around without being late.” she feels his arms tighten around her and laughs again. “Len.” she chuckles. “Why don’t you come with me.” she suggests. “That shower is big enough for an orgy.” 

Leonard peeks an eye open at that. “Is that right?” he asks. She hums. “I suppose that’s a valid compromise.” he replies. 

Sara rolls her eyes, the gesture softened by her grin. “I’m glad you think so.” she finally manages to wiggle free, standing from the bed and stretching. She turns to find Leonard watching her, his gaze hungry as he takes her in. “You have to get out of bed for that.” she tells him, disappearing into the bathroom. 

xXx

Leonard hears the shower turn on and collapses back against the pillows. She’s going to be the death of him but damn if that’s not a great way to go. As he stretches he can feel the slight sting from the scratches she left on his back the night before; the tiny indents where her nails dug in, encouraging him to keep going. 

Last night is a blur of pleasure. A deep seated calm has washed over him with the knowledge that she’s not far from him anymore. Just in the other room, waiting for him to join her. So why was he still lying in bed? 

Leonard steps into the bathroom, to find her already in the stall. The glass is fogged up around the edges, beads of water rolling down the walls and there she she is, the most beautiful woman in the world, waiting just for him.

“Are you just going to stand there and watch, or are you going to join me?” she asks, drawing his attention. She’s wiped the steam from the glass and is looking out at him, smirking like she knows exactly what he’s thinking. “Come on, Len. You’re not going to keep me waiting are you?” 

Leonard gives her a smirk of his own and stalks forward, opening the glass door and slipping in. He’s got her up against the tile wall, pressing along her back, moments later. She laughs, which turns into a delighted gasp as he lightly nips at her neck, pressing his hips forward. 

Sara hums. “Better hurry Leonard, you’re running out of time.” 

He smirks again against her shoulder, turning her around and backing her against the wall, stealing a kiss. 

“I do love a challenge.” he tells her, pulling her against him and backing them up until they reach the shower seat. He gently pushes her down until she’s sitting and kneels in front of her. 

“What are you doing?” she asks, a laughing lilt to her voice as he lifts her legs to rest over his shoulders.

“If I have to tell you sweetheart, you’ve been seriously deprived.” 

Sara rolls her eyes. “That’s not what I meahhh.” her response turns into a gasp as he leans into her, tasting her with short, quick flicks before delving in further. 

Soon enough she’s a shaking, moaning mess, scratching her nails across his scalp and digging her heels into his back. He knows she’s close when she starts grinding against his face, completely lost in the feelings he’s invoking. 

She reaches her climax with a loud gasp, caving in on herself, her muscles tensing and quivering around his head. 

Her breathing is just returning to normal when he unwinds her legs and stands, looking down at her blissed out smile with a cocky smirk of his own. Sara looks up at him, taking in his smug look and resolves to wipe it off his face. But as she reaches out for him, sliding to the edge of the bench with every intention of reciprocating, he steps out of her reach, pulling her to her feet and steering her back toward the spray of water. 

“What are you doing now?” she asks, watching confused as he picks up her bottle of soap and squeezes some out onto the washcloth. 

“We’re running out of time.” he tells her.

“What about you?” she questions as he begins washing her. 

“What about me? I’ll have my turn later.” he replies. Sara hums in reply, the only response she can manage as he digs the knots out of her shoulders before gently pushing her under the spray to rinse off. 

xXx

It’s not long before Leonard is walking out the door, only to stop short when he nearly collides with someone out in the hall. 

“Sorry.” he says, stepping around the young woman. Unfortunately she has the same idea and what follows is a weird dance that eventually ends when they stop, and side step in the opposite directions. “Sorry.” he says again, amused. 

“No problem.” she answers as he turns to walk toward the elevator. 

The last thing he hears as he steps on is her muttering voice. “Damn she’s good.” he glances back to find the young woman standing at Sara’s door and he’s not entirely sure he wants to know what she means, but he has a pretty good idea. It makes sense. It’s been over a decade since they last saw each other, he couldn’t imagine Sara’s been celibate in all that time. She’s a talented, successful, beautiful woman, she’s undoubtedly dated, had her fair share of fun. It’s not like he’s refrained from dating either. Infact, while his list of relationships isn’t all that long, he has had a few serious ones. Relationships he’s almost certain may have become more if circumstances had been different. He supposes, eventually, they would have to talk about it. 

The ramifications of that thought stay with him for the rest of the morning.   

xXx

“Any plans tonight?” Sara asks as they slowly walk toward the door. Now clean and dressed, Leonard has to get home to change out of yesterday’s clothes and Zari will be there soon to accompany her to breakfast. 

“Well,” Leonard begins. “I was kinda hoping this woman I used to know would be free tonight.” 

Sara smiles. “She is.” she tells him, leaning up to meet him as he leans down to steal a kiss at the door. 

“Good. I’ll bring dinner this time.” he continues. 

“Sounds good.” 

Leonard’s out the door sooner than she would like. Leaving an empty space where he once stood. The only thing that keeps her mind from running through darker thoughts is the knowledge that he’ll be back in just a few hours. All she has to do is get through a day of work and he’ll be there again. 

The knock on the door pulls her from her thoughts and though she knows it’s not him, a little part of her hopes he’s come back to convince her to take the day off. 

Zari is standing on the other side, her attention off down the hall until she notices the door is open. “Hey, ready to go?” she asks. 

“Yeah, let me just grab my bag.” 

The day drags on like only a day of cataloging can. And it’s not helped by Sara’s constantly derailing thoughts. She’s watched the same clip half a dozen times and still hasn’t seen it, her thoughts drifting to Leonard Snart and his stupid, beautiful face. 

Thankfully, like always, Zari has her back. She gets her talking about the night before, about Leonard and for a few hours at least her mind can focus on her work. Zari seems to notice when her concentration begins to wane again, suggesting they call it quits for the night and start fresh on Monday morning. 

Sara decides as she listens to Zari and Leonard talk, that she’s not going to ask about their encounter that morning, from what she can tell it was awkward and maybe even a little funny and if either of them want to tell her about it in detail, she’ll listen with rapt attention. But for now, the knowledge that her best friend and her… whatever Leonard is, having a little inside joke between them, no matter how small it is, is comforting. 

When Zari is back in her own suite, Sara turns and opens the door, leading Leonard in. “I brought Big Belly Burger. Figured you should see what a good one tastes like.” 

Sara laughs. “I know what a good one tastes like. I’ve lived in Star City all my life.” 

Leonard smiles, setting the bags on the counter in the kitchenette. “How was work?” he asks, following her toward the bedroom. He leans in the doorway as he watches her change back into her yoga pants and his sweater.             

“Dull.” she replies. “I mean I love my career, but my god, this part is so fucking boring.” she tells him. “How about yours?”

“It was… enlightening.” he tells her much to her confusion. She turns to walk back out when she finishes, intent on asking him, but he blocks her way. 

“Ya know,” he begins, his voice soft, intimate as he looks down at her. He reaches out to her, tugging lightly at the stretched collar of the sweater. “I looked for this thing for weeks. It was my favorite. Never been able to figure out where it could of gone.” he continues. “I never would have suspected that you would steal it.” 

Sara looks confused. “What?” she looks down at herself, tugging at the hem. “Is that where this came from?” 

“You mean to tell me you stole my favorite sweater and you didn’t even know?” he asks. 

“No, I didn’t even notice it until I got home and unpacked. A lot happened when I got home, I completely forgot where it came from.” now that she thinks about it though, she remembers quite vividly where it came from and why she had it on in the first place. “Do you want it back?” she asks. 

“It’s all stretched out now. It probably wouldn’t fit me anymore.” he replies. 

Sara smirks, stepping closer and leaning into him. “I’m sorry.” though she knows she doesn’t sound sorry at all. “I’ll make it up to you. Promise.” 

Leonard smirks back, mischief sparkling in his icy blue eyes. “I look forward to it.” 

xXx

Dinner is spent teasing each other about their respective hometowns. Its light and fun and just what he needs after the intense emotions he’s had running through him all day. He spent most of the drive here thinking about what Mick had said to him at lunch, hell, he spent most of the afternoon thinking about it, and this moment was just what he needed to get out of his own head and enjoy the turn his luck had taken. 

When they were finished, Sara stands and stretches. “You alright?” he asks. 

“Yeah, all that time hunched over a computer wreaks havoc on my back.” she tells him. She then turns to face him, smiling in a way that screams trouble. “I was thinking about soaking in the bath. Care to join me?”

Leonard smirks. “You know I’m starting to see a pattern emerging.” he tells her, following her into the bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Is that so bad?” she asks, stepping up and standing between his legs.  

“Not at all.” he says definitively, reaching up and placing his hands on her hips, pulling her closer. 

She smiles, leaning down and stealing a kiss that quickly evolves into something deeper. The electric buzz in his veins that faded after he left this morning, returns full force, bringing him right back to where they had been in the shower. Sara seems to have the same idea, settling her weight against him and tipping him backward. He pulls her down with him, wrapping his arms around her waist to keep her in place. 

When they separate to breath, Sara trails kisses down his neck, nipping here and there and then soothing the bites with her tongue. He groans when she sucks a mark into his neck. His hands aren’t idle, smoothing along her back and finally up under her sweater. He watched her change, he knows what’s under her clothes, but the desire to see for himself again is overwhelming. 

Leonard thinks she’s about to oblige when he pulls away, maneuvering back to her feet, but instead she moves to open his jeans. 

“I believe I still owe you for this morning.” she tells him after the zipper comes loose, tugging at the waistband until he lifts his hips so she can pull them down. 

“You don’t have to,” he tells her as his briefs soon join his pants on the floor. He props himself up on his elbows to watch her. She doesn’t answer, instead getting right to work. “But if you insist.” he continues, his voice strained as she wraps her hand around him. The last thing he sees as he falls back is her satisfied smirk and then all thought stops completely. He tells himself he’ll have to get her back for that. 

Her mouth around him his warm and she works him over expertly. He gasps as she takes him all in in one smooth movement, reaching out to run his hand through her hair. He curses as she changes pace, setting off a whole new set of reactions. 

Leonard’s close, he can feel it. Not since his adolescence has he come so close so fast. Despite all instinct screaming at him to stay put, Leonard sits up, pulling her off of him. The way she pouts when she realizes he’s not going to let her finish is intoxicating. He pushes that aside, however, to focus on his task. She seems to understand when he tugs the hem of her sweater up, and she happily pulls it off, stepping back to do the same with her yoga pants and then turning to pull a condom from the bedside table. 

As soon as it’s on, Leonard pulls her up onto the bed, settling her over him, her knees on either side of his hips. They both gasp as she begins to sit down on him, feeling each delicious inch as it slides home. 

“Fuck.” he breathes when she’s fully seated, resting his head back against the bed as he tries to collect himself. Sara has other ideas though, pulling up and sliding back down slowly, gradually building speed. His fingers dig into her hips, guiding her to twist and shift as she raises and lowers herself. 

It’s not long before he’s racing toward the edge again, and unwilling to let go before she does, he plants his thumb against her clit, rubbing in tight, quick circles. She falls over the edge, a gasping moan on her lips and he’s not far behind. 

As the sensations ebb, she lays against him, humming contently as he draws gentle patterns against her back. “I’d say we’re even.” he says, drawing a laugh from her. 

“Just to be sure, though, how about that bath?” she asks looking up at him. Leonard smirks. 

“Just to be sure.” 


End file.
